I h
ate it when people tell me to be more positive. Still, it’s better than being told I’m negative, which is negative, and therefore a moronic (not to mention hypocritical) statement. When it comes from a so-called friend, I am torn between being woefully hurt and madder than an adder.
One single rant on a bad day, and apparently I’m throwing constant pity parties. Since I rarely share anything personal with this person, let’s call her Cream Puff, that’s impossible. To make things even more ironic, Miss Puff claims to have depression herself!
Anyone who has had down-in-the-pit-with-dragons-gnawing-on-your-innards clinical depression knows that pity parties are better than no parties at all. Hey, if I am feeling up to complaining, at least I’m not in bed with the covers up over my head!
Don’t get me wrong — I know that I’m prone to negativity. Last time I checked, it was a symptom of this lousy, stinking condition. (Oops, there I go again!) I don’t mind the occasional specific suggestion on what I can do improve my outlook on life, like writing a blog, for instance, when it is given from a sympathetic standpoint. Spare me though, please, from condescending, judgmental comments about my attitude.
I have depression. If I had a broken leg, hopefully I wouldn’t be chided for missing a marathon, or not being able to keep up to an able-bodied companion. Since instead, I have a medical condition which affects my moods adversely, odds are sometimes I am going to feel crummy about myself and what is going on in my life.
I don’t want to be this way. I would love to be Little Mary Sunshine every day, spreading joy and gladness everywhere I go. I take my meds, I listen to the professionals, and thankfully, that is working for me, most of the time.
If you are having a tough time, and need to share it with someone, hey, I’m here for you, all you cream puffs out there! That’s what friends do. Just keep it in mind though, the next time I go a tad negative on you, and don’t go all self-righteous on me!
Feedback, Please
What things do people say about depression that bother you?
What’s worse than being told I should be more positive is….
A Darker Shade of Blue 
I hate when people say, “It’s all in their head.”
I wish I had the stones to answer back, “No? Really? You mean the chemical imbalance in someone’s brain are ‘in their head’? All this time I thought my brain was in my knee!”
What’s worse than being told I should be more positive is- Just pray more.
Granted, I believe we could all spend more time in prayer. But to assume that God will magically make things all better because we pray is actually unbiblical.
Jesus, Himself, was in great anguish praying, “Father if there is any other way…”
Paul said, “Three times I pleaded for God to take it away. He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you.”
I have that (My grace is sufficient for you) written in Greek, on my wrist, as a reminder. Currently it’s written in sharpie, but I plan to get it tattooed there.
I just wish people could see that there is no magic answer to make all this go away- but that God walks through this with us. He doesn’t step back and say- “just be happier.” So what makes people think they have the right to say that?
By: praiseternal on August 4, 2010
at 7:26 am
Dear praiseternal,
Christians (and I presume, other persons of faith) with depression may get hassled the most about their condition, and all from fellow believers.
Last time I checked the Bible, it said “God is love,” and “judge not lest you be judged.” I can’t ever remember seeing “Be sure to let everyone else know how spiritually superior you are.”
There is a mistaken belief in many churches that people who truly believe in Jesus should never have problems. The verses you mentioned, as well as many others that refer to many trials believers will have to endure and stay faithfull through indicate otherwise.
My reaction to people who believe such things is that they just haven’t lived long enough. What do I mean by that? I mean that if a person walks this imperfect planet in an imperfect body surrounded by other imperfect people, sooner or later he or she will encounter trouble. If someone hasn’t figured out that it will happen to them too, they obviously are on the later schedule, as opposed to the earlier one that most of us mortals have to cope with in this life.
Just give them some time, and they or one of their loved ones will be pain, or have a mental illness, or get a divorce, and they will have an opportunity to smarten up and deal with reality. Hopefully their faith will be up to the challenge.
By: jedwardswright on August 4, 2010
at 7:51 pm
I hate it when people tell me to not be depressed. It makes me dig my heels in and refuse to move.
By: Amber on August 9, 2010
at 10:29 am
Dear Amber,
Isn’t it ironic that when people tell us not to be depressed it makes us more depressed? It is more than a little counterproductive. If they think that they are cheering us up by saying such things, they are incredibly wrong. If would could stop being depressed just be deciding to, we would have all done it a long time ago!
Jodi
By: jedwardswright on August 9, 2010
at 4:27 pm