Positive Affirmations

It is amazing how our parents’ voices still speak in our heads even years after they are gone! The reason, of course, is that they are integrated into our own self-talk. All of us have a tape in our heads that we keep playing over and over and over, so that the damaging words that hurt us or the world of our fears become our reality.

One of the main ways to reprogram our brains is called positive affirmations. This is an exercise I did that has helped. You cannot suppress a thought without replacing it. For instance, don’t think about a pink polka-dotted elephant. You just visualized that elephant, didn’t you? When we tell ourselves repeatedly that we should not think negative thoughts about ourselves, all we are doing is reinforcing those thoughts further. Instead, if we create positive affirmations to switch our thoughts on to, we will have better success.

1. It helps to first write out at least 10 good qualities you have. I know, this sounds impossible right now, but you can ask someone who cares about you to help. Just ask, someone”What do you like about me?” and the answers will lift your spirits immediately. Include things that people have told you that you do well, no matter how trivial it seems.

2. Take this list, and make positive statements about yourself from them. For instance, if on your list you put “I am good at crafts” your positive affirmation could be “I am a creative person.” The affirmations work better if you at least partially believe or hope that they are true. Here are a few more examples: I am a caring person who helps others. I am a good mother/father and I take good care of my children. I am intelligent and well-educated. I work hard at my job. I am a survivor who has made her/his way through tough times.

3. Get small recipe cards at the dollar store or somewhere else inexpensive.

4. Write a positive affirmation on each card. You should have at least 10 cards. Remember, you can add cards whenever you want. For instance, let’s say a few weeks from now you win a 1st place in a photography competition. That would be a good time to write a card that says, “I am a very good photographer” or even, “I am an award-winning photographer.”

5. Put an elastic band around your cards and put them in your purse, briefcase, or the pocket of a coat you wear every day. Whenever you have a minute, waiting at the doctor’s, lined up at the grocery store, riding the bus, in a traffic jam, etc. look through your cards. If you are somewhere where you can say them aloud, do so. Alternatively, you may decide to put one card each into, or onto, somewhere that you look all the time, like your underwear drawer or on your bathroom mirror. If you realize that you aren’t seeing one card much, switch it with one that you have seen a lot.

It is amazing how much of a difference such a small thing can make!