Posted by: jedwardswright | May 24, 2010

Friendship Fail

Friendship Fail

Based on my track record, I must not be a very good friend.

Oh, I have always tried to blame it on all the ways my life has been out of sync with the lives of others my age, or the many life changes I have experienced.  I don’t know if I am on Chapter Four or Five now, but the book of my days is filling up.

The reality is, I am not always in control. I am not even me all of the time. Why would anyone want to be friends with someone who is like a box of chocolates ? You never know who you are going to get.

I blurt out things without thinking.  I swear, thoughts will barely get through my brain before they are out of my mouth. Later, I am horrified and humiliated. Did I offend that person? Did that other person hear me? Should I apologize or just resign from the human race?

Conversations with more than one or two people are a minefield.  Someone hesitates, I think that they are done speaking, and I interrupt. I lose track of the topic because I am still obsessed by an earlier thought, so I interject with what I hope is a witty comeback, only to be met with silence.

As my kids often pointed out, I can beat a subject to death and still keep flogging. I suppose it is my OCD, but at the time I can’t imagine why everyone wouldn’t be as fascinated as I am by the endless number of amusing pet names on the internet.

In a burst of enthusiasm, I will initiate a commitment that I will never be able to fulfill. Unable to skip a routine when running behind, I continually show up late.  Couples graciously invite us over, then never hear from us again.  I am too self-conscious to host an evening and risk a blunder, so I blunder by omission.

My best friends are online, because here I can edit myself before, or  even after, I stumble. No one on the net expects me to wine and dine them,  serve on a committee, or give a baby shower. If my hair is a mess, I haven’t brushed my teeth, and I am still in my jammies, I disgust no one.  Nobody cares if there is cat fur on my carpet, nothing edible in my fridge, or my office and my junk room are one and the same. Oh bliss!

There is definitely something to be said for being an avatar.

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Responses

  1. I like you in real time and online!

    • Thanks sweetie, but you have never met me in real time.
      Oh, oh, do phone conversations count?????


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